the fine print

Notes from an Uncultured Reader

I like Eragon. There, I said it. Yes, it borrows from Tolkien and is completely unoriginal and is terribly written and blah blah blah. I could hardly care less. I enjoyed reading it, and I would read it again.

As way of introduction, I am a bit of a bookworm. When I was younger, my siblings and I would check out enough books to max out our mother's library card.

In sixth grade, my teacher had to force me to put my book away at recess. If I could have hidden away to read, I would have, and I know I tried at least once.

In seventh grade, I would read while walking between classes. Nevermind that six thousand students attended the school and the building was longer than two city blocks. I (mostly) managed to avoid running into other people. During class, I would stick my open book in the desk, so that I could read it while the rest of class finished the current assignment.

In eighth grade, I entered a competition at my school to see who could read the most pages in a fixed period of time. After rereading the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in two days, I won pretty handily.

I am a fast reader. When I read fiction, I read about a hundred pages an hour once I know the characters. I say that not to brag but to preface.

I am a stubborn reader. If I start a book, it is a rare instance indeed in which I do not finish it.

I am an indiscriminate reader. I read "trash". After my siblings and I finished our own books, we would read our sibling's books too, regardless of age or gender appropriateness: Boxcar Children, American Girl, Sherlock Holmes; it did not matter.

I am a hedonistic reader. When I read outside of class, I do not read for philosophy, for nuance, for the "higher things". I read for entertainment. Said entertainment may involve anything from Ethnic America: A History by Thomas Sowell to Maximum Ride by James Patterson, but it is still entertainment. I am a couch potato with a book rather than a screen.

I am an unrefined reader. If I were to create an analogy for the way I read, I would compare it to the way I eat. I can eat a perfectly grilled filet mignon with nearly the same speed and enjoyment as a McDonald's double cheeseburger. In the same way, I can read Don Quixote with the same speed and enjoyment as a Star Wars novel. (And depending on my mood, I might like the latter better.)

I am a voracious reader. I nearly categorically refuse to buy books because I could scarcely afford the number of books I read. Good readers reread their books to draw out nuances of plot, wording, and detail. I simply find another to devour.

I am a forgetful reader. I doubt I could tell you the plot of half the books I have read. To make matters worse, I have forgotten the titles and authors of entire trilogies I have read, even though I tell you exactly where they were in the library.

I am undiscerning reader. I read a comment on Facebook recently from someone who was criticizing a book because they could predict the end. I doubt I have ever even tried to predict how a book would end, though I do like happy endings. Unrealism does not bother me: "And they lived happily ever after" is perfectly acceptable in my book.

On the other hand, I avoided "trash" nearly all summer long, and I am starting to love it when my English teacher pulls details out of the text. I am beginning to buy books, and I have even reread more than a few of them. Maybe there is hope for me.